With a sudden flow of hormones mothers to be are very vulnerable. Almost overnight your sensible daughter will become a weepy, unreasonable “kid” all over again. The first time I experienced this new side to my grown up daughter, I was more than surprised. I was quite unprepared for her reaction to becoming a mother. Granted we called her Babes but she was anything but that. She was a hard nosed doctor and had spent her years of medical training traveling the length and breadth of Mumbai on the crowded suburban train network, worked in municipal hospitals and had lived through several bomb scares and terror attacks. So apart from the emergencies she had to face at work, she was exposed to more than an ordinary life. But then, life is most unpredictable and there lies the challenge and the joy!
It takes two to tango
We had had a harrowing week at home and my daughter was particularly testy because her husband was away. That’s when I realised how important it is to have the father close at hand. Pregnancies in modern times are different from the times of our grandmothers who were brought up in the family fold. While couples did have their own space, families did not – they were literally joined at the hip and definitely at the lip for all families ate together. However, with the decline of the joint Indian family, young parents or first time parents are often alone the most part. This makes the basic unit very strong because they have no one but each other to fall back on. But this also makes it important for both the parents to be to actually be together particularly in the first trimester when most mothers are just a tear away from crying for the most part.
So even if as a grandmother-to-be you are dying to have your daughter back in your life so that you can share this next stage in both your lives, there is no one like the father-to-be to actually provide the real support.
Is mum the word?
Not all mothers to be Mum’s are a pile of mush, but getting used to a new life growing inside of you calls for a great adjustment both physically and emotionally. And in this flood of hormones, keeping busy is the best answer. For working mothers- to -be , work can be both a blessing and a curse. For instance my daughter who is an anaesthetist had to tell her colleagues at work that she was pregnant almost the minute she found out because she had to safeguard the growing foetus against exposure to gases and radiation. This offended many relatives and friends who were affronted by the fact that they weren’t informed first! In fact one friend of mine who only found out about our expanding family was when my 7 month pregnant daughter walked past her house, was so furious that she actually stopped talking to me! That is when I realised that one has to be really quick on one’s feet and come up with plausible excuses since the traditional excuse of not telling any one for the first three months is already violated by spilling the beans at the work place.
But if you aren’t working, it is best to keep your pregnancy under wraps. There can be many a slip between the cup and the lip and until the baby bump begins to show, you would be well advised to keep it a family secret.
The initial discomfort associated with pregnancy is best forgotten while working and an active mind keeps the mind free from unsettling thoughts. As a grandmother to be it is best to encourage your child to work as much and as for as long as she can ensuring that she is out of harm’s way. So working moms to be should continue working till as long as they can. Those who are lucky enough not to work can enjoy these pleasant days of “singlehood” which quickly become a distant dream when the baby pops out!