Children

Don’t add fuel to the fire – dealing with a melt down

My little P is a sweet tempered fellow . At least he was till he turned two. Then, almost mysteriously he began to experience the occasional tantrum- occasional because we try to make sure that he isn’t irritated to the point of having a meltdown.

The two year old is discovering a new side to his personality- he is independent enough to walk on his own, run and even attempt to jump off the ground. He can understand a lot and can articulate his needs but there are times when he can’t get his point across and that’s when he gets upset….. ‘Why can’t you understand me’his wails and whines  actually mean.

And that’s when as a adult you have to understand. All you have to do is either try and reason, be patient and let him cry it out or distract him. But if you have some one in the background repeatedly say ‘no he’s a good boy’ it only serves to reinforce his belief that he’s good and encourages him to behave badly.

Bringing up children is hard but bringing them up under constant advice is distressing for the caregiver. And children sense undercurrents and power games being played in family dynamics. With young mothers having to work , children are often kept in the care of grandparents . But grandparents should understand that they have to bring up the children as per the mother’s wishes and back off when the child is being disciplined by his parent.  Walk away I’d advise the grandma rather than watch on or mollify the child. This is only adding fuel to the fire. 

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