Or how kids are pushed into being bad.
Chinki was being his usual, happy self when his mother told him that he had to get ready for school . Now you would think that this was no surprise because he had been going to school for four weeks now. But this was the first day after a break of 10 days and Chinki was only 2 years old.
“No” said the little boy, reluctant to part with the new fire engine that he’d slept with the night before. He had just finished his porridge while ‘driving’the fire engine all over the dining table and was basking the praise he was getting for his imaginary rescue of Jack & Jill, the two dogs in the neighbouring flat that were trapped in the fire.
“But baby, you have to go to school,” cajoled his mother. ” You can come back and play with the fire engine all day when you get back.”
Naturally, the idea of going to school didn’t appeal much to the 2 year old who was by now familiar with grown up’s tactics. His first reaction was a curt “No” as he continued to play with his toy.
Granny, who was hovering in the background as she always did, piped up, “Of course, he’s going to school. He’s a good boy.”
Immediately, Chinki began to shout,” I am a bad boy” and the next 5 minutes were chaotic as Chinki resisted getting ready for school.
Time and again, I’ve noticed that children want to be bad ,simply because they feel that by being bad they can express themselves as being themselves. In their little minds being good is doing what mummy wants, they’d rather be bad and do what they want.
Contrary to the belief that re-inforcing values will instill good behaviour, quite the opposite happens especially when the child is just a toddler.We tend to forget that toddlers are grown up babies. They have just learnt the ways of the world and are trying to familiarise themselves. After one year of being completely dependent, the second year is one of discovery. While you should try and encourage good values and habits, this is not the time to constantly sing “You are a good boy”.
The constant refrain of being a good child, is annoying and pressurising so more often than not, has the opposite effect on a child. so if you really want your child to be a good, obedient child, stop hounding him to be good. He will then definitely want to be bad.